I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
whose parrot is this?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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