So drunk its hurt
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
