My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
