Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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