To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
