Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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