So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
