There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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