it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
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