Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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