You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
