dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
