What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
