If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
