I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
