; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
