WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
