I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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