those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
