I showed him my bush... on skype.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
