Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
