You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
