I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
