I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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