If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
