oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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