Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
