I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
