I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
