Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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