Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
