you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
