she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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