it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
