Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
