did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
