I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
