Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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