Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
