Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
