For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
