it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
