This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
