Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
