Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
