that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
