I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
