is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
