i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
