He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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