By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize